It’s that time of the year again – The Holidays. All year long we anticipate what wonderful times we will have with family and friends; exchanging gifts, going to parties, smiling faces. Yet, the pressure we can put upon ourselves can turn joy into stress, and if you add a divorce or custody proceeding in this mix, things can quickly go downhill. It’s that time of the year again – The Holidays.
All year long we anticipate what wonderful times we will have with family and friends; exchanging gifts, going to parties, smiling faces. Yet, the pressure we can put upon ourselves can turn joy into stress, and if you add a divorce or custody proceeding in this mix, things can quickly go downhill. It is important to keep things in perspective. Whether you are religious or not, the holidays are a great time to extend friendship and kindness, both to family and strangers. Taking time out of your schedule (and NOBODY thinks they have extra time during this season) to do a random act of kindness for that elderly neighbor or overworked teacher, will provide YOU with the joy of making a difference for someone else. Spending time in the kitchen with the kids to make Christmas cookies or put together a gingerbread house will provide YOU with the joy of the holidays. Teaching your children that sharing those cookies with your neighbors will provide THEM with the joy of giving, and understanding it’s not always about receiving. The stress of buying presents, especially when your finances can be upside down during legal proceedings, can be avoided without guilt, if you allow it. Your true friends and family are not looking for a present from you, they want you to smile and be happy. They will enjoy spending time with you, sharing memories and making new ones. And once again, your children will see through your example how making someone happy through thoughts and actions is more important than an item purchased on-line or at a store. Even when life seems to be going smoothly, the holidays bring out emotions which we may think we have under control. Being without the parent of your child can bring out emotions that you thought were under control. Remembering past holidays, as a family, can be overwhelming. Living in the moment by enjoying what you currently have (and take into consideration the lack of anxiety which you had been feeling in past holidays when your relationship was starting to sour) is a key to maintaining stability for you and your children. Enjoy doing the things that brighten your home, things that your former spouse may not have enjoyed.
Start new traditions. Sing carols. Invite friends over, just to hang out. Cook a meal together. The simple things can bring so much happiness. As we should do every single day of our lives, enjoy who you are and the people you choose to have in your life. Be kind, and you will be rewarded with the kind thoughts and actions of those around you.
Happy Holidays! And, by the way, do you want to know the latest information on family law? If so, please contact our office to schedule a consultation. The Law Office of Family Law Attorneys Bawden & Kochis handle legal issues regarding separation, child custody, visitation, adoption, annulment, mediation, domestic violence, child and spousal support as well as pre and post-marital agreements. Telephone (909)792-0222, or email us at [email protected]